The Joys of Invective

Poets in the past knew the pleasures of creative invective or denunciatory speech. Insults can enliven writing and life greatly, but too often now insults are unimaginative, repetitive, and lack wit. Much contemporary writing is bland and afraid of expressing anger.

Here is some delicious invective taken from the best invective-slinger in history, Shakespeare:

"His brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage."

"He has not so much brain as ear-wax."

"A fusty nut with no kernel."

"More of your conversation would infect my brain."

"His celestial breath was sulphurous to smell."

"What is this quintessence of dust?"

"One may smile, and smile, and be a villain."

"Came each actor on his ass."

"Cowardly, giant-like ox-beef!"

"My mistress with a monster is in love."

"You spotted snakes with double tongue!"

"Thou stool for a witch!"

"Such bugs and goblins in my life!"

"She speaks, yet she says nothing."

"Go thou and fill another room in hell."

"Caterpillars of the commonwealth!"


Yes, his ability seems endless. So much contemporary poetry and prose is dry and polite, or if trying to be combative, amounts to little more than coarse and banal epithets.

And to that fellow in traffic yesterday,

"Toads, beetles, bats light on you!"

As Will said, "Hell is empty,/And all the devils are here." (The Tempest)

In an effort to tickle your catastrophe,
Karen Braucher